IHLW Third Time's the Lucky Charm supercard March 31, 2002 A black screen is shown. Text begins to scroll up it in Star Wars-esk fashion... Things come and things go. Fads, heros, pop culture. But some things don't change, remaining almost outside of time. It is not logical nor sensible for this to happen. But things that remain in such states are rarely logical or sensible either. One such example is a certain wrestling federation. Originally based out of Orlando, starting today it will be running its shows out of the Jacksonville Coliseum. Insane Hardcore Lucha Wrestling. You thought it was dead didn't you?! But its baaaaaaaaaaaaaack! And Third Time's the Lucky Charm... Images of lucky charms cereal start falling on the screen as sinister laughter is heard. An array of clips from the first two IHLW "eras" are shown. Lex Luger vs Meng fueds. 911 chokeslamming alot of people. The wacked out intro to Era 2 featuring Luger, 911, and Ed Leslie in Sting facepaint. Rob Van Dam and Jerry Lynn brutalizing each other. Lots of high flying and hardcore action and lame gimmicks. A rag-tag assortment of heels come out individually. "Theme from Power Rangers" fires up to the shock of pretty much everyone and out come five guys in goofy suits. Announcers identify two as Mexican luchadores Ludxor White and Venum Black and a third as Al Greene (?!) but dont recognize the other two. Al Green gets a mic (!)... Greene: Ladies and gentlemen, we are the New Power Rangers and we are here to vanquish scum such as the fiendish villians which stand before you in the ring! THE NEW POWER RANGERS vs "CUBAN ASSASSIN" FIDEL SIERRA/HACK MYERS/THE PERFECT CREATION/SAVIO VEGA/CHRIS THE BAMBIKILLER Match is a big spotfest-brawl. Chris the Bambikiller gets pissed off and walks out not long into the match. Ludxor and Venum double team TPC and pin him with a flying legdrop. The New Power Rangers (Al Greene, Battle Ranger, Cosmo*Soldier, Ludxor White and Venum Black) defeated Fidel Sierra, Hack Myers, The Perfect Creation, Savio Vega and Chris the Bambikiller when V. Black pinned P. Creation after a flying legdrop in 0:03:32. Rating: -1/2* Bambikiller runs back in and delievers Bambideathshots to all five Rangers, opening up a monster heel beatdown and Ludxor hurts his knee in the process. "THE TRASH MAN" DUKE DROESE vs SABU Blah match. They choke each other with a towel. Sabu hits an Arabian Facebuster. Sabu gets caught in a bearhug. Sabu misses a somersault plancha and takes the Trash Compactor. No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Duke Droese pinned Sabu with the Trash Compactor in 0:06:42. Rating: 1/4* TAJIRI/SUPER RATON/TAKA MICHINOKU/ZONIK vs ALAN STONE/CHRIS STONE/DR CEREBRO/SUPER MEGA Mega and Taka start and Taka hits some good stuff, but gets cradled when he tries the Michinoku Driver. Mega quickly hits a vertical facebuster to take the first fall. Super Raton replaces Taka. Line of the night: "we're not in Orlando anymore so why do we need the f'n rat?" They go back and forth and Raton hits a powerbomb but Super Mega kicks out and does Super Mega Hulk Up. Tajiri is tagged in and kicks the crap out of Mega to kill the comeback. Mega tags TAFKA Moto Cross, but he gets whooped too and takes a Super Frankensteiner to even the pinfalls. Raton is back in and the Stones take the opportunity to double team him. They hit some highspots including Chris' Double Springboard Moonsault, but Taka saves so Mega enters and levels Taka with a clothesline. Raton scampers away so its a three on one beatdown of Taka until Zonik decides to join the fray and takes everyone out with a big flying cross body. Cerebro joins the fun by frog splashing Zonik for two. Mega puts a Gory Special on Taka and Tajiri goes for the save, but some fancy flippery by Mega causes Tajiri to end up kicking his teammate instead. Stone nails an Asai moonsault on Zonik for two. Tajiri kicks Cerebro out of the ring then planchas on him. Everybody dives on everyone culminating in the Stones hitting stereo suicide dives. Huge brawl on the floor and the ref just counts the whole thing out. Two-out-of-three-Falls Match Alan Stone, Chris Stone, Dr. Cerebro and Super Mega drew Yoshihiro Tajiri, Super Raton, TAKA Michinoku and Zonik: x S. Mega beat Michinoku via a vertical facebuster in 0:01:30 x Tajiri beat Chris Stone via a top-rope Frankensteiner in 0:07:29 x double countout (Cerebro and Michinoku) in 0:21:17 Rating: * 1/4 Post match, Taka and Zonik turn on Raton and Tajiri after the match, but Super Mega saves. Lots of screaming in Japanese and Spanish and somewhere in there they agree to a Mega/Tajiri/Raton vs Taka/Zonik/Cerebro match next week. PSICOSIS vs JULIO FANTASTICO Not a bad match, but the crowd didn't seem interested. Lots of counters and blocked moves mixed with some high spots. Nasty spot as Psic hits a flying senton on Fantastico on a table but it wont break. Later, Psic hits his Guillotine Legdrop...but La Parka runs in and hits him in the head with a chair?! Psicosis defeated Julio Fantastico by disqualification in 0:08:47. Rating: * Psicosis seems confused on why his long time partner would attack him. So do the announcers. In the back, Perry Saturn is on his way out for his match. He runs into Mike Awesome. Saturn: Hey Mike, you heard who I'm facing? Awesome: Yeah. Saturn: Who? Awesome: Yes. Saturn: What? Awesome: No, WHO. Saturn: I'm facing who??? Awesome: Yeah, thats what I told you in the first place. Saturn: Nevermind... The Sound of Sirens brings out Perry Saturn. In the ring, he gets a mic. Saturn: Will somebody please tell me who I'm facing?! "Who Are You?" by The Who fires up and out walks Jim Neidhart in a yellow mask. The announcers are speachless. The crowd is lost. Somewhere, all of five people are laughing. PERRY SATURN vs WHO Nothing but a brawl. Who no sold a bunch of stuff. Saturn resorted to hitting Who in the head with a frying pan. Who hits a flying shoulderblock and gets the pin. The crowd actually responds positively, as they find the idea of chanting "who" almost as appealing as "what". Who pinned Perry Saturn with the Flying Shoulderblock in 0:07:41. Rating: -* 1/2 LA PARKA (w/ chair) vs RECKLESS YOUTH Back and forth match with several near falls. La Parka sneaks in a chair shot and appears to have it wont, but Psicosis runs in and hits his Guilotine Legdrop on Parka to cause DQ?! La Parka defeated Reckless Youth by disqualification in 0:06:16. Rating: ** 1/4 La Parka seems confused on why his long time partner would attack him. The announcers at first think Psicosis is getting his revenge for Parka's attack but are confused by the fact that Parka seemed very surprised to be attacked by Psicosis which he shouldn't be if he'd attacked Psicosis just a few matches earlier. T.C.K. vs "SCRAP IRON" ADAM PIERCE - FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE This one was out of the ring in a hurry. They brawl into the crowd. TCK gets a shovel and beats Pierce body with it then hits his Tiger Driver to win. No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match T.C.K. pinned Adam Pierce with the Tiger Driver in 0:06:34. Rating: ** 1/4 "It Doesn't Matter" by Wyclef Jean brings out...Ricky Marvin. He starts doing the usual Rock catchphrases in Spanish. The announcers wish they had cellphones so they could call 911. Pyro suddenly explodes indicating somebody must have called 911 to come and put and end to this...but no! Instead, "Crush Em" by Megadeth fires up and Bill Goldberg runs out! "THE RICK" RICKY MARVIN vs GOLDBERG Spear, Jackhammer, splat. No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Bill Goldberg pinned Ricky Marvin with the Jackhammer in 0:00:10. Rating: DUD Ah, the perfect ending to a gimmick that was horrible even by IHLW standards. "We Are Extreme" brings out Extreme Sin. Their manager Jay Sin gets a mic and rants and raves about Kurt Reigns and how he should get a shot at the IHLW Championship. Public Enemy walk out with their trusty table and remind ES they have unfinished business. Six-man tag tonight and if The Public Enemy win they get a Tag Titles shot next week. Jay Sin emphasises the "if" repeatedly until Ken Shamrock walks out to join TPE and shut him. EXTREME SIN (w/ JAY SIN) VS KEN SHAMROCK & PUBLIC ENEMY (w/ table) Okay match. Shamrock and Reigns got in some shots, but it was mostly between the two teams. Spinebuster and the Drive By get the pin. No-Countout-No-DQ-Match Public Enemy and Ken Shamrock defeated Extreme Sin (Khris Germany, Kit Carson and Kurt Reigns) when Rocco Rock pinned Germany after the the Drive By in 0:05:01. Rating: * 1/2 Crowd wants tables and TPE try to oblige, but Kurt Reigns has other ideas. Ken Shamrock stops him and they have a stare down. Shamrock wants a match next week. Reigns thinks about it for a moment then slugs Shamrock. Pier Six brawl errupts and security and officials have to come out to pull everyone apart. HARDCORE TITLE MATCH: 911 (c) vs MIKE AWESOME Staredown and test of strength to start. 911 absolutely brutualizes Awesome until an inverted Awesome Bomb turns the tide. Awesome goes outside for a breather then suckers 911 into a baseball bat shot. They brawl up the entrace way and in to the back where 911 throws Awesome down a flight of stairs. He casually walks down the stairs to find Awesome bleeding with a probable broken nose (among other things) and chokes him sensless. The ref mercifly declares Awesome out cold. No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match 911 made Mike Awesome submit to a chokehold in 0:08:11. Rating: * 3/4 (911 retained the IHLW Hardcore Title.) LUCHA TITLE MATCH: GREAT SASUKE (c) vs MIKE MODEST Match of the night. Modest hits a pair of Exploders for two. Sasuke hits a spin kick and tiger suplex for two. Powerbomb blocked and Modest hits a waistlock suplex for two. Tombstone reversal sequence won by Modest. Powerbomb attempt but Sasuke cradles him and does his own powerbomb. SupaSasukeFrankensteina is countered with a superbomb for two. Clothesline misses and Sasuke gets another tiger suplex. Flying somersault splash gets two. Thunder Fire Power Bomb finishes things. Great Sasuke pinned Michael Modest with the Thunder Fire Power Bomb in 0:06:40. Rating: ** 1/2 (Great Sasuke won the IHLW Lucha Title.) We see clips of Van Dam and Lynn absolutely brutalizing one another in their two previous encounters. IHLW CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: JERRY LYNN vs ROB VAN DAM RVD sneaks in a tire iron shot to start things. These guys just LOVE each other. Split-legged moonsault misses. Dueling dropkicks won by JL for two. Hiptoss countered by a clothesline countered by a hiptoss leaves JL still in control. Chinlock deathlock submission applied then released then JL covers...and wins??? Wierd finish. No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match Jerry Lynn pinned Rob Van Dam after a chinlock deathlock submission in 0:03:14. Rating: ** 1/4 (Jerry Lynn retained the IHLW Championship.)