"Cheap Mustache"
by Josh Liller
2006

When you're growing up
there's all sorts of things
you swear you'll never do
but change is something time always brings

I would never do this
I would never do that
but all you're left with
is a cheap mustache

I would never tell a joke
at someone else's expense
I would never sit
on the political fence

Never lie
Never cheat
Never steal
Never kill

Drinking booze
smoking pot
probably some other things
that I've forgot

It's all good thoughts
It's such a great ideal
But life is ugly
and life is real

I would never do this
I would never do that
but all you're left with
is a cheap mustache